Monday, December 05, 2005

Fantasy success

"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality..." - Queen

"If you do fantasy sports year round I think it's clear that some not-so-small part of you is a loser." - NJG


It may also follow that if you dedicate close to 500 words of copy in your blog to your fantasy sports pursuits you are an altogether different yet equally depraved breed of human. But I ain't skeerrrrred...

Let's all of us together just move beyond the fact that I am an owner of four fantasy sports teams. Why four? Because five would be too many. I manage two football teams, one "fun" league, one for "money". Ditto for basketball. Of course, I'm not including the 7 (seven!) ESPN fantasy football teams I created so I could practice drafting before my real leagues had their draft. It's a sickness, I realize this, but I take comfort in the fact that my summers are fantasy sports-free, allowing me to escape being a total loser. Not like those fantasy baseball guys! What dorks!

Anyhooch, until this season I was like a second-year NFL wide receiver: still not ready for primetime. But as any FFL owner worth his fantasy cleats can tell you, the third year is where the wideouts come into their own. I have enjoyed more fantasy success this season than in any previous year. My "fun" football team, in a league filled with current "OJ" staff and alumni and dubbed "Supercaliblowme" by season ticket-holders, leads the league in scoring and I unbiasedly view myself as the undeniable favorite entering the league playoffs. Doubters can eat a bowl of you-know-whats...

My "money" team, the Deacon Blues, are tied for the league's best record and are also playoff-primed. The core of this league consists of a bunch of pipe-hittin Buffalonians that grew up together in the Black Rock section of town, plus some stray mathematicians, linguists and canvass supervisors. I have always sucked in the BRFFL league and I want to win badly. Oh yeah, we have t-shirts.


Sundays are the greatest days for fantasy sports - it's when the football gets played and the week-long basketball matchup gets resolved. My "fun" b-ball team, the Guatemala Ducks (shouts to PDX!), is in first place and I go up against a bunch of gents I've never met but whom I look forward to feeling smug in their presence of when I eventually get out west.

"The "money" basketball team, the Methadone All-Stars, are in the middle of the pack but with Tim Duncan, Shaq, Ray Allen and a steady supporting cast I feel confident going into battle with this latest incarnation of recovering hard-core drug addicts turned professional athletes.



Playoff updates forthcoming. Prayers welcome.

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