Alright, just a few thoughts on 2005 and then I'm on my way up to the cabin on Mt. Hood for the four-day Rawkus Bacchus New Years Debauchery Debacle.
I'd like to officially dub 2005 as the year of "I Told You So". Failed leadership, deadly weather and celebrity meltdowns we all saw coming from a mile away.
Not to go off on a rant here, but sometimes I get the urge to toss dumb motherfuckers out into the middle of the street just when a big fucking truck is about to come by. It comes on the strongest whenever I hear somebody say, "Jeez, guess I voted for the wrong guy. Twice." Hoo-what? Asphincter says what? What objections could these dolts possibly have that weren't already on full display during Dubya's first term? Curtailing civil liberties? Please see the Patriot Act. Iraqi news propaganda? Paging Jeff Gannon. Botched New Orleans rescue and recovery? See Iraq (or Manhattan, take your pick).
Perhaps it's just a bandwagon effect but the calls for impeachment are becoming audible and coming from surprising corners. No gloating here, but hopefully a lesson for voters.
In 2035, when epic droughts and floods have caused catastrophic damage to the global agricultural supply and millions of impoverished environmental refugees are using any available weapons to cross borders to get to high ground, and the wealthy are scuttling off to Mars with the last drops of oil and potable water safely in tow, those of us left to slug it out on Earth may look back at 2005 as the year it became clear just how stupid we were to ignore science. It's the biggest conceivable tragedy of our species to eliminate life on this planet but if those damned scientists are right, that wheel is already turning. And don't worry, just in case you manage to survive the impacts of hurricanes, heat waves and fires, there's still gobs of radioactive waste, pesticides and super-diseases just waiting for us down the road. If the thunder don't getcha then the lightning will. Happy New Year.
I sensed it during Days of Thunder but didn't know until I saw Magnolia. His public emotional outbursts this year only sealed the deal. What a freak! Maybe Tom discovered L. Ron Hubbard's soul had reappeared on Earth inside Katie Holmes like Buddha or something, I don't know. Hey Tom, you want an impossible mission, here you go: act normal!
Some say the final word is still out until after this weekend's game in Philly but I'm saying it now. The PBIP have seen 5 coaches in Gibbs' 12 year absence and none have had the franchise playing win-and-in-the-playoffs games against NFC East opponents in December like they are now. The nation's capital is under his spell once again. Gibbs' return to coaching also marked a banner year for D.C. sports: The Wizards make it to the second round of the NBA playoffs for the first time since 1982, GW Colonials go the Big Dance and are currently ranked #12 and, of course, the re-arrival of the nation's pasttime to the nation's capital made D.C. one of the great sports cities in 2005.
Post-2004, we liberals had hopes that the Democrats were taking time to bone up on their Lakoff, learn what was the matter with Kansas, etc. Instead, we get to watch the uber-confident Dems try to just stay out of the way of repeated Republican implosions (Duke Cunningham, Iraqi newspaper propaganda, domestic wiretapping) and did I mention Obama voting for Dr. Torture?
I'll take all this back if Chuck Schumer can pull it off.
I've won two championships this year, one in basketball, one in football. Nuff said.
Alright, that's a wrap. Gotta go pack. I give you the last two treats of 2005 to the jam-band loving sports fans:
1. Mediski, Martin and Wood covers the Sportscenter theme
2. The Sportscenter commercial archive. Cuse fans check out Sweet Science.
Here's to an amazing 2006, one full of life's lessons learned, tipping points and another Super Bowl ring for Joe Gibbs. Happy New Year!
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