GMAIL LIKE ITS YER JOB

My Gmail tells me I received and sent 108 gmails today! HOORAY FOR GMAIL! GMAAAAAAAAIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL is the greatest.





I'm also blind.

The Sunset of Dissolution

"In the sunset of dissolution, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia, even the gullotine."

- Milan Kundera, Unbearable Lightness of Being

"Here’s the thing: they can write a mean letter, they can write a mean memo, but these guys don’t have any real fight in them. If you’re an artist, as opposed to a careerist, and your movie is more important to you than a career in this town, they can never beat you. You have a loaded gun, and you know you’ve got what it takes to put it in their faces and blow their heads off."

- Quentin Tarantino

Me oh my oh, how the time does fly. Whenever there is an extended gap in between my posts on this blog it usually occurs for one of two reasons.

One: I'm bored and understimulated and have no desire to share anything. All I want to do when I'm in this mood is cook interesting new frittatas and go for long walks.

Ah wash mahself with a rag on a stick...mmm...thai shrimp frittata.

Two: I'm super-busy and overstimulated and can't find the time to post any of the excitement here.

I have no explanation for the latest gap though as it fits neither of the above categories. Lately I've actually been holding off on the bloggery until I could get more pictures to go along with my stories but if I wait too long then the stories are so old they stop being interesting. Unfortunately, they're just going to have to wait a little bit longer.

I'm really feeling both of those quotes up there these days. 2007 is shaping up to be a big year. Not only is the number at the front of my age odometer about to flip up one digit higher in a little over a month, but I'm coming up on a handful of meaningful 10-year anniversaries. I swear I will write more about these soon but let me just say I've decided to honor the 10-year anniversary of the year of my first cigarette by quitting. It's been 11 days since my last smoke and I ain't looking back. TAKE THAT WINSTON LIGHTS!!! And I'd appreciate it if you would stop calling me when I'm drunk - it's not polite, I'm serious this time and frankly I'm just not that into you anymore.

As for the other anniversaries, well...I think I'm going to hold off on saying anything more about those until a little later. It'll be a good one when it comes out though so stay tuned.

In the meantime, I've spent the last few days listening to the new Wilco album, Sky Blue Sky. The album won't appear in stores until May but true to form Wilco "leaked" the album by streaming it from their website a few months in advance and it's out there on the internets in mp3 format.



This album marks the first time the band that's been touring for the past few years on A Ghost is Born has gone into the studio together. It's been a relatively stable period for the band, no new additions or subtractions from the lineup, and this is the first Wilco album that Jeff Tweedy has made sober and post-rehab.

My personal experience with Wilco albums is that each album is different than the last and that you have to sit with it and listen to it 25 times or so before it's really revealed itself to you. Having said that and having listened to the album a dozen times from start to finish, here's my take:

It's mellow. It's soulful. I love the sound of Jeff and Nels' guitars together. There are some classic Tweedy deliveries:

"What am I gonna do when I run out of shirts to fold?
What am I gonna do when I run out of lawn to mow?"

and...

"Why is there no breeze, no currency of leaves?
No current through the water, why no feelings I can't see?
I trust no emotion, I believe in locomotion."

and when Tweedy starts wailing "Everybody's feeeeeeling all alone, can't tell you who I am" over smoky Garth Hudson organ fills, my body contorts with delight. Check em out for yourself:

You Are My Face - Sky Blue Sky - Wilco



Wilco - Hate it Here - Sky Blue Sky

I'm the one you're looking for, I'm-a doing 90 in a 54

Who needs a new best friend? Buy me this and you've got a deal, partner!

1. Intelligence Test - I scored a 28 (29 after a helpful hint). If I had made the test it would have included "1 D in a B" though.

2. Not only have the assholes at Marvel Comics squandered the chance to make excellent movies out of some of their best characters (Punisher, Daredevil...haven't seen Ghost Rider, but cmon now, fuhgedaboutit) but now Captain Fucking America is DEAD. If it's a metaphor to our current national situation I can get with that but did it really have to go there? Cap shoulda just checked out, maybe hung up the ol' cowl and shield and sat in a bar, mourning his loss until January 2009 - Anchorman-style.

3. Some cool sites for Readers - my friend Nicole turned me onto GoodReads the other day and it's pretty cool. "It's what your friends are reading!" aka MySpace for the litterati crowd. Also, Netflix for Books!

Vote Different

So, to my knowledge, no one has taken credit for creating this very-smart take-off on Ridley Scott's 1983 SuperBowl ad for the first Mac computer. Using Hillary's on-going "conversations" as the axis for political commentary, Hillary's front-runner status gets framed as oppressive, monolithic authoritarianism and Obama as the door-opening suffragette.



I can't wait for the inevitable, follow-up "Hi. I'm a Hillary voter. And I'm an Obama fan" Mac-PC ad take-off.

Why's It Gotta Be Portland

I saw this happen live on C-Span following Barack's announcement in Springfield, IL. So glad someone clipped this for YouTube.

Smokey Joe

From Wonkette:

Obama urges Senate staff to put him out of his misery

I really like this guy.

Love it

Al-Qaeda #2 calls Bush an Alcoholic

Thoughts on this story (in the order they occured):

1. HA HA

2. Haven't we killed or captured this guy like seventeen times already? How many #2's does Al-Qaeda have?

3. WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR???

4. Al-Qaeda has a multimedia arm and a logo? Damn, everybody's up on Web 2.0

4. Maybe this will be what gets Bush to focus on Al-Qaeda again.

Portland Update

Worlds reunited at the bar last night as old friends M and S and I met up with all three members of the Mclan at Beulahland on Belmont. J and K were in town visiting E and J, M, S and I all used to be do-gooders together back in the day. The bar offered PBR in a can, a bottle and on tap though was generous with the Jameson. Hipster dude spinning hiphop at the front of the room. I am hungover though there is talk of brunch and then a walk somewhere in the Colombia Gorge. Still no progress on the Portland Project idea front, despite this creative entry from my sister:

Regarding your request for feedback on what "creative" thing to do while in Portland, here is my idea: POO DOLLAR. Put poo on a dollar - put it on the street and hide behind a tree with a video camera. Nuff said.

Indeed.

Dream, 1/25

As written upon waking up at 8:30 PST yesterday morning:

Sitting at desk in office when approaced by Sen. John Edwards. Introduced. Begins speaking of possible place for me in his campaign.

"What kind of people live in Nevada/new Mexico?" His eyebrow is raised.

"Latino...er, Spanish?"

Wants to know if I'd be interested in pitching his renewable energy plan to Latinos in Southwest.

I leave office and wander long hallways to get outside and get back to my car. Get to car, realize I forgot my shoes under office desk and my socks have holes in them. Walk back to office.

Myr of Hbkn Dave Roberts is now there reclining on chair speaking with Sen. Edwards.

"Dave Roberts!" Embarrassed for being too casual

"Ben...." he doesn't remember my last name

"...Mayor Roberts, how are you?" More formal now.

Barack Obama is now sitting at the desk I was at. I say excuse me and look under desk and find my shoes and put them on. Obama gets up and I help him with his jacket

"Can I help you with that, Senator?"

"Thank you Sir" as he hands me his discarded undershirt. Feel embarassed to be so obviously more respectful to Obama in front of Edwards. Edwards and I admire Sen. Obama's undershirt: white with ABA All-Star logo, has holograms of cities' names, big hoop and net and the face of some smiling dude in the middle.

The Portland Project

So I flew in to Portland, OR last night for a West Coast variation on my East Coast vacation. While I'm out here I've been thinking that it might be fun to do some sort of project/artsy thing as a sort of time capsule for the trip. The problem is that it seems I am seriously lacking creativity.

My ideas, to date, in ascending order of stupidity:

1. Compete against the Portland Trailblazers in Free Throws. As in, go to a park every day with the box score of last night's game and attempt to shoot a better FT percentage than the Blazers did as a team the previous night. STUPID SCALE RATING: TWO OUT OF FIVE

2. Visit the same downtown Portland intersection at the same time everyday and ask a stranger to answer a seemingly innocent question but that when compiled into a string of video clips offers illuminating commentary on Portland and the human response to being accosted by inquisitive strangers. STUPID SCALE RATING: THREE OUT OF FIVE

3. Visit the same downtown Portland intersection at the same time everyday and scream "MOO!!!" as loud as I can. Document same as above. STUPID SCALE RATING: UNMENTIONABLE.

That's what I got. While I'm sure all of these ideas this would make for exceptionally stimulating video and text commentary, I'm not sold on any of them. So whoever any of you are that read this thing, please feel free to hit me up with any ideas you'd like to see me try to pull off. I'm wide open.

In other news...

1. We'll have our 2008 Democratic presidential nominee about this time next year, making the general election about TEN MONTHS LONG!!! Good for 24/7 cable news networks, bad for candidates, voters and republican democracy in general.

2. In related free throw shooting news, Jason Kidd used to blow kisses to his wife as part of his pre-free throw routine. Since Jason's divorce, his message to his wife seems to have changed:


3. FILE UNDER "Devestatingly Too Little, Too Late, Though Apparently Sooner Than We Think": For those keeping score at home, this week's State of the Union address marked the first time that our President has used the words "global warming" or "global climate change" in the speech. Unfortunately, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change adds lube to the slippery slope.

LASTLY: ALERT TO PHILLY HEADS: Caps and Jones playing Haverford TONIGHT - warm yourselves up some with these two cool dudes whose musical flow is best described as pyroclastic.

Introducing...Delonte West

Delonte West plays guard for the Boston Celtics. Weird dude.

Exhibit A: His description of his ideal Valentine's Day date.

Exhibit B: The WY-AA HANG-AAA!

BIG THINGS

New Years Swag.

YO.

On with the new year and whatnot...

Joe Rogan, there's something you should know about me...

It's Ball Season for me. Before the 2006 pack of newly elected swine can get to work bellying up to the trough, they must throw parties for 15,000 of their closest friends and enemies and I love bearing witness.

Got a few more bashes to attend where I will join my fellow unemployed campaign operatives in crowding out the amateurs from the Open Bar. Also on tap this week: inquiring about work. 2007. BIG THINGS - let's do it!

Some Links:

1. Malcolm Gladwell's insightful New Yorker piece on puzzles, mysteries, Enron and Nazi propaganda. Really interesting and everyone I try to talk to about it seems to have already read it so quit slacking and join the convo.

2. Requiem for the Skins: The WaPo delivers three terrific stories as a post-mortem on this disappointing season for the Potomac Basin Indigenous Peoples. Excellent reporting, unusual levels of candor from players and coaches. An interesting read for any sports fan. Parts One, Two, and Three found here.

3. The winner of MC Serch's next reality show wins a pack of Newports and Puma sweats. Make sure to click the "Gas Face" video for some old school Flavor Flav, Gilbert Gottfriend and proof that hip-hop used to be goofy AND STILL good as hell.

4. Gilbert Arenas aka Black President aka Agent Zero has been getting loads of ink. In case, you missed it, the "walk-away" shot as seen from the nosebleeds:

The Third Shoe

Not to get all morbid while everyone is in holiday mode but I won't be a bit surprised to hear about another famous person dying in the next week or so. The one-two punch of James Brown and Gerald Ford necessitates a third celebrity death. It's just a rule that celebrity deaths always come in threes.

March 4 - 9, 1999

I first picked up on this back in 1999 when Justice Harry Blackmun (March 4), Stanley Kubrick (March 7) and Joe DiMaggio (March 9) all died within a week of each other. That "death trio" reminded me that just one month earlier King Hussein of Jordan (February 8), John Erlichman (February 14) and Gene Siskel (February 20) all died within two weeks of each other also. WEIRD. An odd phenomenon for sure but it's definitely held up over the years.

Late June 2001: Carroll "Archie Bunker" O’Connor, Jack Lemmon and John Lee Hooker.

June 21 - 27, 2001

September 2003: Johnny Cash, Warren Zevon and John Ritter died within five days of each other.

September 7 - 12, 2003

Some people may claim Peter Boyle started this current James Brown/Gerald Ford death trio but I'm not feeling that. Peter Boyle was a delight but he's not on the James Brown/Gerald Ford level. It's gonna be somebody big. I won't even speculate on who it could be for fear of getting it right and consequently being burned at the stake.

December 25 - ???

The only time I can remember there being a truly unequal death trio was back in 1997 when Princess Diana, Mother Theresa and Lorena Bobbit all died within a week of each other. Oh yeah, you didn't hear about Lorena Bobbit dying? Yeah, yeah, it was a traffic accident, a real bad one too. Yeah, apparently SOME DICK CUT HER OFF!

BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

No, seriously, I hope it's Osama that goes next.

2007 Here We Come

Just a few more links to help keep you all from doing anything constructive during this short work week.

1. British soldiers participating in LSD experiments.

2. The Time Fountain.

3. Lifestyles of the Rich and Fascist

4. Short Imagined Monologues of McSweeney's. The Whole McSweeney's website/magazine is fantastic and I highly recommend frequent stoppage-by.

5. The MySpace page of Knicks rookie Renaldo Balkman. FAN-tastic!!!

6. NEW FAVORITE WEBSITE!!! Only those miserable few who grew up rooting for the Washington Bullets/Wizards through the 80s and 90s can truly appreciate the spirit behind Wizznutzz. And I need that 98 Bench t-shirt to wear everyday. For anyone who is experiencing second thoughts on having stiffed me this holiday season, this will get you back in my good graces.

DO. NOT. FALL. IN. LOVE.

IT'S TOO LATE FOR THE SSA STAFF. SAVE YOURSELF.

New Years

Diplo My Love remix

Strike Sparks Anywhere #1 - Diplo My Love remix



The Good News: After many weeks, I was finally able to get Timbaland's swell-and-contract "My Love" syntheizer noises out of my head.

The Bad News: It's been replaced by the boop-bop-beep sonic hook in this remix by Diplo.

P.S. I'm shopping around for a new service to post audio. Not sure how I feel about the style of this one - please holler if anyone knows of a better one.

Random Linx

As we continue to dust off the ol blogeroo, here are a smattering of links I've been meaning to share:

1. What's on Santa's Ipod? Lemon-Red, Tittsmas and more courtesy of Nick Catchdubs.

2. Gabe said We're Into Movements

3. Tribute album to The Band.

4. Interviews with cast members of Season Four of The Wire: Part One, Two and Three

5. You know what part of this one I wonder about the most? It's not the toilet seat around the neck. It's not the "Sexual Millionaire. Be One." scrawled on the chalkboard either. It's not even the dilated-pupil rantings. It's the cap gun and the cherry.

Keep posted for some possible intriguing news re: NYE....toodles.

Cool Grafitti/Art Exhibit

The line outside 11 Spring Street on Saturday

An inside view

Before catching the fracas at the Garden last night I checked out this, um...art happening(?) on Spring St. The abridged back story goes as follows: Old building in = longstanding, well-known worldwide grafitti/art canvass. Building to be converted into luxury condos. Art world mourns. New owners not total dicks. See blurb from NYT below for rest of story...

The group decided that the best salute would be to stage one last, thoroughly legal, art-making hurrah, inviting some of the best-known graffiti and street artists in the world, many of whose work already loomed large on the outside of the building, to take over the inside and completely cover five floors, 30,000 square feet of brick wall space, with work. The art would then stay up only for a few days before the contractors moved in with drywall to cover up the interior works and pressure hoses to erase those on the outside.

In other words, not destroying the art inside but, rather, vacuum-sealing it like a time capsule inside the drywall of luxury condos. The line to get in stretched around three corners and lasted over 2 hours but the art inside and out was really cool. Crazy to think it was all done in just a few days...

Some of the rest of my photos are below. You can also find more photos from other people here. Full New York Times story available here also.

Quato Lives

Oxy Cottontail

What the Jolly Green Giant's dreams look like

You see straight up racist that sucka was, simple and plain...

Ghost Che far away

Ghost Che near - the coolest

Always fresh

More outside(r) art

Rock out with your walk out

Pulp wall art

I got nothing on this

Totally creepier in person

Rubberband art with artist

Baaaaaaaa

MELO 4 LIFE!!!

The view from my seat at last night's Knicks - Nuggets game/brawl. All the action went down right where the people are standing in the photo above. I'm here to say that Melo did not throw a basketball punch at Mardy Collins - it was a man's punch. Fat Joe, Spike Lee and Turtle from HBO's Entourage were sitting in the front row courtside by where it all went down. Turtle wanted nothing to do with it and hid behind his bodacious girlfriend. Two security guards were required to hold down Fat Joe and Spike was so mad that his glaring at Isiah was interrupted that he bit Fat Joe in the leg and gravy poured out. The World's Most Famous Arena!