Peel back the Spam to reveal...

I don't know how to get the above graphic to be bigger but it's a snapshot of an email I got recently that Yahoo directed to my Bulk mail folder. Normally I just delete such emails after a quick scan of the folder to make sure nothing important strayed from my Inbox, but this particular subject line caught my eye.

"Dear Sir" it begins, in appropriately capitalized letters. Formal, friendly, complimentary, suggesting a heretofore unfamiliar author. I am flattered and therefore intrigued. I continue...

"i am interested..." The breakdown in common grammatical rules as evidenced by the lower-case "i" instantly sends up a flare of mistrust. I associate such typos with the steady stream of spam I receive inquiring as to whether I "stack up" or want to "add rigidity". If you're not professional enough to spell-check your emails, I'm sure as hell not letting you anywhere near my privates. That's my motto.

However, it's the final two words of the subject line that give me pause...

"...in it". In. IT. "Dear Sir, I am interested in it". Oh, really? And just what is IT that you are interested in, Ms. Dobson? I have put nothing up for sale, no ad in the paper. I have made no general inquiries seeking input or opinions from strangers. There are no doggie-bags for servants or orphans or any others likely to address me as 'Sir'.

I can only wonder what the IT this God-willingly lovely woman, Jocelyn Dobson, is interested in. It could easily be some sort of sex act. It could also be something more clever, as I am inclined to think, judging by the studious aloofness of the email's subject. I have yet to open the email so that all of you can take a guess at what the IT actually is.

Those who guess correctly will be able to post whatever they want on this site - embarassing photos of your ex, your demo, your J-Date URL, whatever. Of course, if no one participates I'll just ignore the email and none of us will ever know the truth. That secret will die with Ms. Dobson so take your best guess, and please be as specific as possible in case of a tie.